PERFECTION IS THE ENEMY OF GOOD

It’s been one year already! April 13th. The day I started this and vowed to continue for as long as I can.

Unfortunately, we all have those days. Days when no matter how badly you want to go ahead with your work, you can’t because of the state of affairs. It could be anything from a cyclone or hurricane to mood swings or morning sickness. I’m not gonna say which and will let the suspense hover for a while. I have made a very bad utilization of the long break and spent it rolling on the bed and lazing on the couch. The party’s over now. Although I can’t promise a weekly update like before, given the circumstances, I would try my best to do it biweekly.

Coming to the topic for today, these three months have served really well for rumination of past events, which made me realize that till this day, no matter what I did, I could never win the appreciation of people. They always end up pointing out the faults even in the good things I do.

For instance, I learn to make a complex dish and cook it for a dozen people. Instead of appreciating for all the hard work put in, I would be met with snide remarks that I’m a slowcoach.

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Essentially, no matter what you do to please others, no matter how hard you try; you WILL be met with criticism. And you can do nothing about it. Because that’s how most of the humans are programmed.

And what better way to make the most out of our twisted minds than the big fat Indian weddings.

The mandap, the food, the seating arrangement, flower décor, warm welcomes, jewellery display, assortment of goodies, plush rooms for guests, euphonious background music, not a detail spared and hundreds of thousands of rupees spent lavishly. But what else would the guests notice but the overgrown lawn or a broken chair in the back?

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The world is bestowed with so much goodness and positivity. But where there’s good, there will be evil too.

No human is perfect. Especially since perfection is a matter of perspective. What’s a perfect cup of coffee for me wouldn’t be the same for you. Your “perfect” chicken curry might be totally unpalatable for me. That doesn’t mean you’re wrong and I’m right. It just means we each know different versions of a perfect chicken curry. If we get that into our thicker than a rhino’s skin brains, then life would be so much easier for us as well as the ones around us.

Finally, here’s a tip on how to handle arm-chair critics. Gather their advice, digs, remarks, and statements into a large garbage bag and throw it out of your brain.

Real well-wishers don’t mock your resources and act like numero uno. They voice their opinions as a side note not as a primary rule.

And here’s a quote to wrap this up:

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”

― Donald Miller

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HUMAN HAMMERS

Humans are carpers. And it’s an immutable, unbearable trait.

A wedding is about to take place. The groom’s mother views the bride’s family with much contempt as the latter has decided to conduct the wedding at a small church and booked a medium-sized hall for the buffet. That’s all they can afford without sharing the costs; plus it was beyond the budget they have planned. But affines are never satisfied, are they? They just need that one thing to hold against you.

After the nuptials, the mother-in-law takes direct digs by griping about how her cachet among her high-society friends and relatives came down due to the economical wedding the girl’s family has managed to pull off. How the congested church made her feel claustrophobic. How the food items at the dinner were not properly garnished. How the chillies in the biryani were sliced too thin and also how the server didn’t smile at her. The girl took the offence in silence.

Now time comes for the mother-in-law to marry her daughter off. And she doesn’t pick any fancy beach resort or a backyard of a mansion as the venue. The wedding’s going to take place at her home—the cheapest option available.

I cited this example not to stereotype anyone. I wanted to pinpoint the kind of hypocrisy that prevails in majority of humans and how people take delight in hammering anyone that doesn’t share their DNA. But say one thing even remotely unfavourable to them, they would be glaring at you with fangs ready to sink into your throat. You can dish it out but you can’t take it.

Why are our thoughts and morals so warped? Our favourite pastime is to criticize. We condemn everyone for everything just to feel better about ourselves. God, why are we born this way? Why can’t we be more pure and acceptive?

The kind of people I’ve seen in my short existence so far has made me a cynic. I see a person spending as meagre as a cent on a birthday present to someone but expects to receive a gift worth one hundred dollars in return and if you don’t sate his anticipation, then get ready for some serious arraignment and bad-mouthing. Wow, doesn’t conscience dictate human thoughts and actions anymore? “We give, we take” is how life is supposed to be within a society. But I see more of “You give, I take” in people these days.

It’s important to take the other person into account always simply because we can’t spare the price of being an outcast, which would be the definite consequence of acting like an ass.

Expect the other to do what you would do in their shoes. You can’t aim to be treated like a queen while you view every other person as your minion. I see that most of them are not satisfied with what they have. They want additional, that too for free. Isn’t that nasty? You’re basically hoping to lick on someone else’s sweat. Produce your own sweat instead of being a parasite.

When you bundle up jobless people together all they do is gossip, pummel and slam with limitless ardour.

‘Mr. X doesn’t hold his wife’s hand in public. Things are not right between them. I give four months max.’

Maybe Mr. X is just shy and doesn’t like PDA.

‘Miss Jane had a tear in the dress she wore yesterday. She’s so broke.’

Probably, Jane didn’t notice the hole and unfortunately became the subject of your hole.

‘Mr. Y uses a basic phone despite being a millionaire. Such a cheapo.’

Perhaps, Mr. Y loves simplicity and doesn’t heed barking dogs.

Such is the dreadful situation. If you have nothing to do, then do nothing. But do not hammer. It hits very hard.

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