WHY AM I NEVER BORED?

I love not being bored. I see so many people putting up social media statuses about how bored they are, it makes me proud that I don’t get bored so easily.

Throw me on an island with no companion, no gadget, no book, no wifi, no beautiful sceneries; yet I can survive with my own thoughts for at least a month without sinking into the awful feeling of ennui. Even after one month, I would probably survive because by then I would have gone mad and would start hallucinating—I would be duetting with Zac Efron, bathing under gigantic waterfalls, swimming with dolphins, wearing leaf bikinis . . . alright, I’m digressing now.

The other day, I have spent three hours doing nothing. Just sitting there, staring into the blank space and letting my mind go wild. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with the amount of action going on up there that I close my eyes, pause for a second and then resume but never stop. And the musings range from which shampoo I have to buy after the present one runs out to how I should tie up the loose ends of the novel I have written in my head. Although a good book is a great (nonliving) crony, I can do very well alone too because I am my best (living) companion.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t need people. Hell, no. I need my people more than I need myself. I’m just saying that boredom has no effect on me and I consider that aspect as a boon.

Two days ago, I got a call from a whiny friend of mine, who is married, working, movie buff, fitness freak. Yet, she’s always teetering through a constant state of tedium. I’m flummoxed really. Jeez, what else does she need to keep herself occupied? A bunch of kids probably. I’ll suggest her to think about it.

One of the dangerous traits of bored people is they assume that every single person in their contact list is as jobless as they are and would go into a rage over an unanswered call or irresponsive text message. Well, I’m starting to accept the fact that it takes all sorts.

Trust me, this blog post is not a rant against people who bore me with their stories of boredom. Though I must admit that if anyone calls me saying that they’re bored and start talking meaningless crap like—

‘Oh. My. God. I’m watching this movie called “Snakes On A Plane” and there are SNAKES on a PLANE! Can you believe it? Damn!’

‘So basically I don’t brush my teeth at night but today I’m so bored that I also flossed my teeth. Man, I’m so bored I think I’m gonna pick my pimples.’

‘Hey there! Don’t freak out. I’m talking from the bathroom. I’m taking a dump and I’m so bored because it’s taking so long and I crossed my Wi-Fi limit and I could do nothing but call you in order to free myself from boredom.”

—I would go as nutty as a fruitcake.

Oh, by the way, those things really happened, people. And the crazies who called me during odd hours in order to share their thoughtful insights and observations are no longer my friends because everyone has a breaking point. I’ve reached mine.

You can do whatever you want when you are bored but you just can’t bore other people because if there’s anything that’s more unwholesome than watching a “The Hottie and the Nottie”, then it’s the company of bored people. They squander your time for their entertainment.

I mean you don’t have to talk anything at all. But if you talk stuff that irritates or grosses people out at odd times just because you have nothing else to do, then you’re gonna lose a lot of pals.

Perhaps the world’s second worst crime is boredom. The first is being a bore – Jean Baudrillard.

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